The Natural Hair Dilemma
NHM Model L. Nickerson
Not too long ago I was going to a formal affair. A couple of days before the event I was asked to straighten my hair because it would be more “appropriate” for the occasion.
Immediately, I felt so many things when I got news of this. Not to mention, the person did not come and address me personally—they sent a middle-man. I felt hurt, confused, attacked, betrayed—and yet, empowered! Mostly, I felt empowered because I had instantly made a conscious decision to NOT straighten my hair. Not out of rebellion but out of respect to myself and all natural haired beauties who are asked to alter their hair to conform into the image of what is deemed “appropriate” in contemporary society.
I should clarify that the person that asked me to straighten my hair was African American so it wasn’t an issue of race—it was strictly an issue of ignorance and judgment. I say ignorance, in the most respectful way simply because when I sat down and evaluated the situation, I realized that I could not allow myself to be too upset with this person (other than for their childish approach) because they are a victim of the “Black girls must have straight-sleek hair syndrome.”
I realized that the issue at hand was much bigger than me. It was generational. The person grew up in a time and culture where hair that is pressed is what is acceptable. Historically, black women were encouraged to blend in rather than stand out as to not be a nuisance to ourselves or our people.
This thought alone saddened me—that in 2014, no matter how much the stigma of black hair is shifting towards unity and empowerment in glorifying our natural roots, we are still somewhat plagued with the history that lingers in the minds of many who are not supportive of the “look” of our natural tresses.
This is not to say that I am not favorable of straight hair. I have no issues with straight hair at all. In fact, I straighten my hair about once or twice a year to avoid issues with heat damage. The difference is—I do not straighten my hair because I am told to or because I want to fit in for the “look” of the style. I do it simply, out of boredom and freedom, because I want to do something different with my hair.
Thus, the root of the issue seems to be two things—conformity and freedom or lack thereof. Many people, from any race or cultural background, expect natural hair girls to conform to what is appropriate in corporate or formal settings. For people that expect that of us—especially Black females—it is clear that they lack freedom because they are still being held hostage to the ancient traditional views of black hair. Black hair is still marginalized and we are still unfortunately oppressed with the ideas of what people feel as though we should look like so not to be viewed as “nappy” or “too black.”
So how do we fix this? Well, it begins with one…and one other…and one other…and so forth. Each of us must stand our ground and simply not give in to the selfish requests of others. Yes, it is just hair to an extent. But it becomes bigger than us when we are looked upon as “not good enough” or “not beautiful enough” when we decide to wear our hair in its natural state.
And in standing your ground, I encourage you to do it gracefully and filled with integrity because as you can see, these negative mindsets are not necessarily our antagonists’ fault—they are simply a mere product of a cycle of historical beliefs regarding black hair. Most of the time, it is not enough to educate our non-supporters with words but rather it is more effective (in my experience) in simply just being who you are, fearlessly and audaciously! If that means you want to wear your hair straight, curly, colored, relaxed, big, short, long—then so be it!
Just be sure that the choice is yours! Do not be silenced by the stigma! Do not let anyone rob you of your freedom to be who you are!
