One night at my friend’s house, while preparing for a party, I found myself fighting with my hair. It almost seemed like I just could not get it to look the way I wanted it to. As a natural, this is nothing new to me. I am always fussing with my hair to get it just right, but in the end I am usually pleased with my end result. While I was managing my hair, a girlfriend of mine combed through her relaxed hair with ease and then styled it even quicker. I remember looking at her, as she eyed herself in the mirror with complete satisfaction of her own beauty. She glanced over to me and began to express how upset she was with my hair and the image that I was portraying. She then looked directly at me and said, “You are single because of your hair. You will never attract the right kind of man because of how you wear your hair”.
This is the conversation that sparked my interest in today’s men and their acceptance of natural hair. I personally have encountered a few men that were not exactly thrilled with my hair, but I have also met a nice amount of men that love my hair. In the very moment that my friend reprimanded me because of my natural hair, I began to wonder just how much of her statement had actual merit. I am proud to say that I see women choosing to go natural more often these days and I refuse to believe that having your hair natural means that you are sacrificing the idea of having a strong and successful counterpart in their lives. I would like to believe that the choice to have natural hair is accepted by our loved ones. So I intended on proving her wrong at a later time. And prove her wrong I did.
With overly opinionated friends, I find that placing them in a scenario where they are forced to face all different types of viewpoints, is the answer to persuading them to a different frame of mind. Maybe, just maybe they will see the light… Knowing that she would be the minority, I had brought my friend to a natural hair event. Some of my friends said this was cruel, but I still feel like it was just what she needed. I had originally intended to have her witness women who were genuinely proud of their hair and found myself pleasantly surprised to see the abundance of men that were in attendance and equally as proud. These men, from all different walks of life, came to this event to support their natural women. It was beautiful. During the event, which featured several vendors and natural hair products, successful and handsome men stood up to profess their love for the natural woman. I saw strong, committed relationships and heard poetry about the phenomenal natural woman. I found myself surprised because although I believed that there were men who loved women with natural hair, I had never been surrounded by so many at one time. And in that moment I felt a little of what my friend felt that night we were getting ready for the party. I felt complete satisfaction in my beauty and my hair.
I looked over to my friend and watched her as she witnessed this. The look of discomfort was overly apparent on her face. So I decided to ask her what was wrong, but could not contain the smile on my face. She replied, “My fiancé would not like me here. These people are brainwashing everyone and I do not want any part of this”. Needless to say, we had left the event earlier than expected, but I still felt a sense of victory. The event was fully intended to open her eyes to the fact that there are people who will love and accept you as you are; no exceptions, but I feel that the event actually helped me to see things more clearly than before. And as I headed home that same evening, I stroked my hair that I would normally fight with to lay down just right and realized that somewhere, some man is already thinking, “Wow, her hair is always beautiful and just right”.
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://www.naturalhairmag.com/wp-content/uploads/pic3.png[/author_image] [author_info]Jherica Burgess is a columnist for everything Natural Hair. [/author_info] [/author]